D-DAY

HELLO

D-Day has arrived. Last night I had a few of my all-time favourite tipples finishing on the king of beers, Jaipur from the wonderful Thornbridge brewery. I wasn’t sure about how to handle my last night, there was always a danger that going down this route would elevate my favourites on to a pedestal, make me remember the good side of drinking but I decided I`m going to be confronted by these almost wherever I go so I have to be able to deal with it. 
Went to bed fairly early and hardly slept, apprehension and anxiety running through my mind. Up at eight and first six tablets down me. Six more at lunchtime, six shortly at teatime then six more to go before bed. My first time to bed completely dry in god knows how many years. 
At the moment, around 18.00, I would normally be well into my drinking routine, so far no major physical craving so the meds seem to be doing their job. My visit from the nurse was very encouraging, outlining what to expect for the rest of the week and starting to discuss future meds for support after the detox.

SUPPORT

As I mentioned earlier a few friends are doing various detoxes for the week as a mark of support for me and also to test themselves. We have been joined by a couple more now so I`ll speak to them all and probably do a bit of a thing about it later in the week. Should be an interesting read I think.
Tomorrow I`ll mention how the group goes, and maybe touch on how Facebook is helping. I`ll put up a few of the conversations that some of the blog posts have started. 

DIVERSIONS

Today, to take my mind off things I decide to rekindle my love of breadmaking and baking. Two wholemeal loaves, a banana and walnut cake and a Lemon drizzle. The smell in the kitchen was wonderful, then I remembered Sarah is on a cake and sweet detox to support me so I have to now hide the cake…luckily she is as usual very understanding. I will carry on baking, maybe make my own frozen cake and bread mountain as I found it a good diversion today. Weighing, measuring and kneading are very therapeutic.
I’ve been having discussions on Facebook and elsewhere about diversion ideas. So far I have agreed to try Couch to 5k with a couple of friends. I can’t remember the last time I ran but I`m a very keen walker so we`ll see how this progresses. I’ve also joined a Facebook poetry group with a great friend, so look out, there may well be odes coming your way. In the meantime, here`s something written for me by one of my online friends, Jo Cameron.

It's a friend in celebration

It's a friend in desperation

It's a friend when the lights go down

It's a friend when you're about the town

It's a friend when you know no other

It's a friend when you take a lover

It's a friend when your heart is numb

It's a friend when your day is done

It's a friend when all seems lost

It's a friend..but with its cost

It's a friend when you care too much

It's a friend when you've had enough...

...but it's not your friend...

...not really...no way...

It's a devilish mask

For what we hide away

For all the pain we feel

For all the things we miss

For all the missed opportunities

For the lives we've lived

For all the doubt we've felt

For the opportunities lost

For the wasted moments

That have come at their cost

So is it your friend people?

Or is it your foe?

Alcohol...just know this...

...you won't be my woe.

I could murder a pint right now but I tell you one thing, I`m going to beat this.