A couple of weeks ago I started revisiting my blog from 6 years ago on the build up to and the weeks following my detox. Its weird reading back over some of it now, seems so long ago. I can hardly remember the drunk me at all, luckily that applies to people who knew me back then too. Here's what I wrote with just two week to go.
D-13 and counting
Not long to go and starting to feel a little nervous.
Meeting with my counsellor today. Discussed a few concerns about before, during and after detox.My major concern is the Sunday before we start. The last beer I open on that Sunday night may well be my last ever. How the hell do I treat opening and drinking what may well be my last one? No definitive answer on this question at the moment but the favourite is to have an evening of real old time favourites. Not about getting the units down me but taking the nerves away by celebrating a soon to be departed friend, and enemy.……Any thoughts?
We had a little chat about this blog, we both think it could be beneficial to myself and also others in a similar situation, so will press on for a while.We also cleared up a thing or two about the actual process involved in a detox. What drugs are involved? Where and when do I get them? Who is responsible for making sure they are administered correctly? Are there any possible side effects? (More about this soon)The period after the detox will hopefully be aided by a “group”I joined a “group”I have always struggled with “groups”Sitting in a small room with a load of weird people all trying to outdo each other with tales of their problems…...How the hell can that help anyone?Well, as usual, I was wrong. I was probably the weirdest of the lot, and we discussed coping strategies and other buzzwords. As first meetings go it was fairly encouraging. I shall go back next week and see how it goes. More on this as it progresses.Also had a meeting with a real life newspaper reporter, but that’s another story for another day.
I remember my first "group" so well. I really believed it would be a load of old tosh and I only went to shut up the agency who had arranged my detox. Turned out I was oh so wrong. Probably wouldn`t have even gone through with the detox never mind stayed dry after it without the group. We'll go into the group thing a bit more as we go on. If you're struggling with addiction in any way go join a group. you won`t regret it.
